Everyone might have different ways to experience their "special day"...
Either celebrate it, or grounding at home, or blah blah blah...
We wanted to do something we thought it is special...
Though most of the time it is not!
I spent mine,
by taking half day leave on busy schedule...
drove downtown to the central of KL...
to get a book...
There's always many reasons to feel not good enough...
Whether it is a fault, a fate or a fable...
There are always feelings to get distraction...
Followed by urge to have some beauteous release...
To be free, to be empty and weightless...
A sudden hollow for some peace...
There are always desires to get perfection...
For life to lies heavily on composing memoir...
Packed with heaviest burden and zealous fulfillment...
To be a giant with aura of nostalgia...
At least for someday... life should be balanced without weight...
A quote from Milan Kundera from The Unbearable Lightness of Being: -
Anyone whose goal is 'something higher' must expect someday to suffer vertigo. What is vertigo? Fear of falling? No, Vertigo is something other than fear of falling. It is the voice of the emptiness below us which tempts and lures us, it is the desire to fall, against which, terrified, we defend ourselves.
It's hard at the end of the day...
But I am waiting for that chance...
Regardless it is a fault, a fate or a fable...
Busy season coming again...
Design~ Documents~ Drought~
But most of the time, life goes easy on me…
Simple, shorter and similar stories…
No devotion no glory… No hero no disguise… No exception no dazzle...
Still… there are a lot...
desire to trek, walk, and discover...
Seeking places to walk into...
Seeking chances to walk away..
Responsibility comes with a price...
Excellent performance tagged higher...
Commitment with the above are priceless...
Everyone should setup a dan buoy, and forward towards...
Neither Maslow's, nor McGregor's,
but Ouchi's Theory Z.
For me, satisfaction is an utmost important quality in motivation...
As,
Satisfaction rush me forward
Satisfaction makes me push to the limit
Satisfaction keep me trying harder
But it seems that this kind of consensus management is sort of falling off...
When everything fall apart, I shall be on my way, for both sake.
Yet another colleague resigned yesterday.
When asked why she resigned, the reason she gave is because of "no life"...
Everyday work before the sun rise, back after the sun set...
Everyday rushing for extra jobs and never-ending deadlines...
"No life"... How true is that?
The ugliest blue colour is the one appeared on pc monitor screen,
which I had several times last week.
Gonna format it soon.
If that couldn't help it, I will need to fork out a few thousands for a new one...
Which I don't really wish to...
* Formatted twice... still the same... Better or worse? (updated: 09-06-09)
In fact, I don't really like to do wedding job.
Or... I don't like to do it without prior notice and preparation.
The R.O.I. normally does not pays off for both side...
Neither the work paid , nor, more important, the self-satisfaction...
It merely make you more miserable to cook all the raw to jpeg...
It hurts your effort, time, money, hdd and interest...
I promise myself not to take any jobs that I don't like...
First stage of the project just over.
Though, too much work hours, too many hours spent, too little spent harvested...
Though, the tougher stages will be coming in series pretty soon,
still, there shall be a couple of light-hearted days, next week.
Though, I think of giving myself a month to consider...
Either focus on new job scope... or focus on new job hunt...
A month to consider...
That busy~ groaning and grunting...
I'm stuck...
I think I don't know myself much...
The more you know who you are, what you want, the less you let things upset you...
i tried to be a writer, but i hate what i write...
i tried taking pictures, but they are mere mediocre...
i tried to be good, but i feel like an ass...
I think I don't know myself much...
The less you know who you are, what you want, the more you making your life a joke...
Peace, Love & Understanding
As I walk through
This wicked world
Searchin for light in the darkness of insanity.
I ask myself
Is all hope lost?
Is there only pain and hatred, and misery?
And each time I feel like this inside,
Theres one thing I wanna know:
Whats so funny bout peace love & understanding? ohhhh
Whats so funny bout peace love & understanding?
And as I walked on
Through troubled times
My spirit gets so downhearted sometimes
So where are the strong
And who are the trusted?
And where is the harmony?
Sweet harmony.
cause each time I feel it slippin away, just makes me wanna cry.
Whats so funny bout peace love & understanding? ohhhh
Whats so funny bout peace love & understanding?
So where are the strong?
And who are the trusted?
And where is the harmony?
Sweet harmony.
cause each time I feel it slippin away, just makes me wanna cry.
Whats so funny bout peace love & understanding? ohhhh
Whats so funny bout peace love & understanding? ohhhh
Whats so funny bout peace love & understanding?
Will it be any worse?
I think there is still space to make it more ugly...
Some people
Like to ask but never give trust...
Like to plan but never get organized...
Like to create choices but never give a chance...
Like to learn the hard way but never do the hard job...
Someone said this before:
Good advice is always certain to be ignored, but that's no reason not to give it.
Given...
When truth to be told... the hard way... it will first piss you off...
I just realized I don't have Mondayish blue mood quite sometime ago...
I also find out that I don't have a crazy happy Friday...
Numb~
Just think that I kind of need a lay back...
Don't ask...
Whether I'm tired of work...
or that I'm tired of life...
or that I'm tired of repetition...
or that I'm tired of creating chances or making choices...
I don't need an answer...
I want a lay back... an exile... to somewhere I can...
Feel the wind clouds rush between my hair
Feel the ocean wave brush my feet
Feel the rain drops wet my skin
Feel the sun shines glaring my eyes
Feel the thunderclap vibrate my ear drum
1am in the late night, or early.
Worse, it's a busy working day yesterday, today, tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow...
I need a lay back... now...
Which I know it is i-m-p-o-s-s-i-b-l-e.
I closed my eyes... Feeling in depth...
Life with only work, and deadlines...
Motivation comes and goes... Inspiration last forever...
It's amazing... I'm yet to be inspired...
Life...
Without much sensation...
Without much action...
Without much emotion...
Without much convulsion...
Life is waging about work, and deadlines...
I closed my eyes... Feeling in depth...
An apple was offered...
A reward or a reveal...
Perhaps a concrete decision in re infecta...
I need the equation...
Saturday was Wesak day.
Worked for free for as an event photographer.
Sunday, a rest day for slacking...
Had an extra nap.
Anyway, it actually makes me feels more tired.
Not a good day for deep thoughts...
Tired~
One bold. One bully.
It's like a game.
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
KEPERCAYAAN KEPADA TUHAN
KESETIAAN KEPADA RAJA DAN NEGARA
KELUHURAN PERLEMBAGAAN
KEDAULATAN UNDANG-UNDANG
KESOPANAN DAN KESUSILAAN
Whether you follow the rules or not, you are bound to the law.
Ouch!
Never mind... let's try again...
“It's choice--not chance--that determines your destiny.”
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